How to pray for forgiveness: steps, a prayer, and what to do when guilt stays

To pray for forgiveness, tell God plainly what you did, say you're sorry and want to turn from it, and ask him to forgive you because of Jesus, not because you've earned it. Then believe him: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9, WEB). There's no special formula. Below is a prayer you can pray now, the steps behind it, how to pray Psalm 51, and what to do when you still feel guilty afterwards.

A prayer for forgiveness you can pray now

Fill in the blank with what you did. Be specific; "everything" is harder to let go of than one honest sentence.

Father, I've sinned against you. I ________. I knew it was wrong, and I did it anyway. I'm not going to make excuses or blame anyone else. I'm sorry.

Have mercy on me, according to your loving kindness. Wash me and make me clean. I don't deserve it, but Jesus died for this sin too, and I'm trusting him, not my promises, to make me right with you.

I want to turn away from this. Change what's in me that keeps choosing it, and give me the strength to choose differently next time. Show me if there's anyone I need to make things right with, and give me courage to do it.

Your word says that if I confess, you are faithful to forgive. I believe you. Thank you that there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Create in me a clean heart, O God. In Jesus' name, amen.

That prayer draws on Psalm 51:1-2 and 51:10, 1 John 1:9 and Romans 8:1. If you've never put your trust in Jesus before, the same prayer is a good beginning: tell God you know you need his forgiveness, and that you're trusting Jesus' death and resurrection for it (Romans 10:9). Then tell a Christian you trust, or a local pastor, what you did.

Why we can ask God for forgiveness

Forgiveness isn't a reward for being sorry enough. It's a gift God gives because of what Jesus did.

• Jesus paid for it. "He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree" (1 Peter 2:24, WEB). When you ask for forgiveness, you're not bargaining. You're receiving what's already been paid for.
• God wants to forgive. In Jesus' story of the lost son, the father sees him "still far off," runs, and embraces him before the son finishes his speech (Luke 15:20-22).
• God keeps his word. 1 John 1:9 calls God "faithful and righteous" to forgive. It rests on his character, not on your feelings.
• Forgiveness is complete. "As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us" (Psalm 103:12, WEB).

A Christian who has already trusted Jesus is forgiven and belongs to God. Confession for a believer isn't about getting saved again; it's about restoring closeness, the way a child says sorry to a parent who never stopped being their parent. That's why Jesus taught his followers to pray "Forgive us our debts" as part of ordinary daily prayer (Matthew 6:12).

How to pray for forgiveness: 6 steps

1. Get quiet and ask God to show you. Pray Psalm 139:23-24: "Search me, God, and know my heart... See if there is any wicked way in me" (WEB). Give it a minute. Often the thing you already know comes to mind first.
2. Name the sin specifically. Not "I haven't been great lately," but "I lied to my manager about the report," or "I've been cruel to my sister." David said, "I acknowledged my sin to you. I didn't hide my iniquity" (Psalm 32:5, WEB). Specific confession is honest; vague confession lets us off the hook.
3. Own it without excuses. Leave out "but they started it" and "I was tired." There may be reasons, and God knows them. For this moment, take responsibility. "He who conceals his sins doesn't prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy" (Proverbs 28:13, WEB).
4. Turn from it. Repentance means turning around. Tell God you want to stop, and ask for his help to change. If there's a practical step (deleting an app, ending a conversation, telling a friend who'll check on you), name it.
5. Ask for forgiveness, on Jesus' account. "Forgive me, Lord, because of Jesus." Like the tax collector in Luke 18:13: "God, be merciful to me, a sinner!"
6. Receive it and say thank you. Don't end on "I'm so terrible." End on "Thank you that I'm forgiven." Then get up and live as someone who is.

This takes five to ten minutes. Some people fold it into their daily prayer; the "C" in the ACTS prayer model is exactly this step, done briefly each day so that things don't pile up.

Praying Psalm 51: a guide written for this

David wrote Psalm 51 after his adultery with Bathsheba and the killing of her husband (2 Samuel 11-12). It's the Bible's fullest prayer of confession, and you can pray it line by line.

Read one row a day for a week if the sin was serious. Psalm 32, written about the relief of being forgiven, is a good companion to read afterwards.

Other prayers of confession in the Bible

• The tax collector: "God, be merciful to me, a sinner!" (Luke 18:13, WEB). Jesus said he "went down to his house justified." Seven words were enough.
• The lost son: "Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in your sight. I am no longer worthy to be called your son" (Luke 15:21, WEB).
• Daniel, for his people: "We have sinned, and have dealt perversely, and have done wickedly, and have rebelled" (Daniel 9:5, WEB). A model for confessing as a family or church.
• Peter, after denying Jesus: He "wept bitterly" (Luke 22:62), and later Jesus asked him three times, "Do you love me?" (John 21:15-17), giving him back his calling.

Forgiving others is part of praying for forgiveness

Right after the Lord's Prayer, Jesus says: "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you don't forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses" (Matthew 6:14-15, WEB). That doesn't mean we earn forgiveness by forgiving. It means a heart that has received mercy can't stay closed to others for good.

When you ask God to forgive you, also ask: is there someone I'm refusing to forgive? If so, you can pray:

Lord, you know what ________ did, and how much it hurt. I don't feel like forgiving them. But you've forgiven me so much. I choose to release them to you; I won't keep demanding they pay. Heal what they broke in me. Help me forgive again tomorrow if the hurt comes back. Amen.

Forgiving someone doesn't mean saying what they did was fine, trusting them again straight away, or staying in a dangerous situation. You can forgive and still keep a safe distance. If someone is hurting you now, please get help: in the US, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233.

Making things right with the people you hurt

Some sins hurt other people. Jesus said that if you remember someone has something against you, "first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift" (Matthew 5:23-24, WEB). After you've prayed:

• Apologise plainly. "I lied to you about the money. That was wrong. I'm sorry." No "if you were hurt."
• Repay what you can. Zacchaeus paid back four times what he'd taken (Luke 19:8). If you took something, give it back.
• Don't demand their forgiveness. They may need time. Your part is to own it and make it right as far as you can (Romans 12:18).
• Know when not to. If contacting them would harm them or put you or them in danger, or if they've asked for no contact, don't. Confess to God, and talk it through with a pastor or counselor instead.
• If they've died or can't be reached, tell God what you'd say to them. Some people write a letter they never send. Then leave it with him.

James 5:16 adds another step many find freeing: "Confess your offenses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed" (WEB). Telling one trusted Christian friend can break the hold of a secret.

When you still feel guilty after praying

This is the question most people searching for forgiveness have. You prayed. You meant it. And the guilt is still there.

Conviction or condemnation?

If what you feel after confessing is the right-hand column, it isn't God asking you to do more. You can answer it with his word.

What to do

• Go by the promise, not the feeling. Read 1 John 1:9 out loud. Say, "I confessed this on [date]. God says I'm forgiven."
• Don't confess the same sin over and over. Thank God for forgiving it instead. Each time the guilt returns, say "Thank you that this is forgiven."
• Forgive yourself in the sense that matters: agree with God's verdict. If the judge of all the earth has cleared it, your own court doesn't get to reopen the case.
• Talk to someone. A pastor or mature Christian friend can remind you of what's true. If guilt is constant, heavy and about things you can't name, it may be worth seeing a Christian counselor or doctor too; sometimes depression or anxiety looks like endless guilt.

What if I keep committing the same sin?

Keep confessing it. When Peter asked how many times to forgive a brother, Jesus said, "seventy times seven" (Matthew 18:22). God doesn't hold himself to a lower standard than he asks of us. But don't stop at confession:

• Notice when it happens: the time, the place, the feeling just before. Pray about that moment in advance.
• Tell someone who will pray with you and ask how it's going.
• Remove what makes it easy, where you can (Matthew 5:29-30 is about taking temptation seriously).
• Fill the space with something good: a short prayer, a walk, a call to a friend.

Progress is often slow. A sin you fall into less often, and confess faster, is real change.

Common mistakes when praying for forgiveness

• Trying to earn it by feeling bad long enough first. You can't add to what Jesus paid.
• Bargaining: "If you forgive me, I'll never do it again." Ask for help to change instead.
• Confessing other people's sins: "Forgive me for yelling, but she was being impossible."
• Hiding the big one and confessing only small things.
• Skipping the thank-you. Ending on gratitude helps you actually receive forgiveness.

Short prayers for forgiveness

• "God, be merciful to me, a sinner." (Luke 18:13)
• "Create in me a clean heart, O God." (Psalm 51:10)
• "Forgive me, Lord, and help me make it right."
• "Thank you that this is forgiven."
• "Forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors." (Matthew 6:12)

More prayers for hard moments

When guilt comes with a lot of fear, our prayer for anxiety and worry may help. If you feel accused and attacked rather than convicted, see how to pray when under spiritual attack. And if this has been a long, heavy season, try our prayer for strength during difficult times.

Common questions

What do I say to God to ask for forgiveness?

Tell him what you did, say you're sorry and want to turn from it, and ask him to forgive you because of Jesus. "God, I did ___. I'm sorry. Please forgive me and help me change. Thank you for Jesus. Amen." There's no required wording.

Will God forgive me for anything?

1 John 1:9 says God forgives the sins we confess and cleanses us "from all unrighteousness." People who worry they've committed the "unforgivable sin" (Mark 3:28-29) are usually showing, by their worry, a heart that still wants God, which is the opposite of what that passage describes.

Do I need to ask for forgiveness every day?

Jesus put "forgive us our debts" in the daily prayer he taught. A short time of confession each day keeps things from building up. You don't need to fear losing God's love each night.

Do I need to confess to a person or only to God?

To God always. To the person you hurt when it's safe and helpful (Matthew 5:23-24). And many find it healing to tell one trusted Christian (James 5:16).

How do I know God has forgiven me?

Because he said so. Your feelings may take time to catch up, but forgiveness rests on God's promise and Jesus' death, not on how you feel.

Take ten minutes today with the six steps above. If you'd like a short guided time each day that includes confession, thanks and prayer for others, play day 1 free, or answer a few questions to build your 40-day prayer plan. More in our prayer guides.

Sources

Scripture: World English Bible (public domain), eBible.org. Pages read for this guide: Crosswalk, "How to Pray for Forgiveness"; Bible Study Tools, "How Can I Pray for Forgiveness?"; United Church of God, "Is There a Prayer I Can Say to Receive Forgiveness?". National Domestic Violence Hotline: thehotline.org.